Dating other girls while in a relationship
I also think that people are complicated and when you "couple" them it's even worse and can be very hard to figure out.Having been through it myself, I think it's easy to create logical solutions and arguments for all kinds of advice, but in the end, I also think it's about giving people the space to figure themselves out.
It may imply that the separation is less about re-evaluating the relationship and more about having a chance at guilt-free cheating for a while.We were committed to each other, referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, and were both allowed to date and be physically intimate with other people.We eventually broke up (for various reasons, most of which weren’t related to our openness), but since then I’ve remained interested in rethinking relationships—and it turns out I’m not alone.In particular I'm thinking of Ross's meticulously crafted defense of "we were on a temporary separation.There are several reasons that the issue of dating during a temporary separation is so "fraught." As Ms.In other words, monogamy—though a perfectly viable choice—doesn’t work for everyone. Blame it on a couple unhealthy relationships in my youth: For whatever reason, in my mind “monogamy” had come to be associated with possessiveness, jealousy, and claustrophobia—not quite what one desires from everlasting love.
I wanted to care about someone without feeling owned by them, and I wanted that someone to feel the same way.
The explicitly temporary nature of the separation implies the hope of eventual reconciliation and renewed intimacy within the relationship, but the experience of intimacy with someone else during the separation may only make that reconciliation harder to achieve, because that hope may seem less sincere.
(Ironically, this may imply that couples may find it easier to reconcile after a "permanent" separation—one with no set ending date—than after a temporary one, especially if one or both partners saw other people in the meantime, simply because with the permanent separation there is no expectation of reconciliation and less feelings of betrayal to overcome.) Let's learn something from Ross: a "break" is not a "break-up," and if you are in a temporary separation, remember the ultimate goal is to get back together with your partner.
", Elizabeth Bernstein explores temporary separations as a way for couples to step back from their faltering relationships in order to re-evaluate them.
(The article focuses on marriages, but I think it applies just as well to any committed relationship.) Rather than a preliminary step to the foregone conclusion of divorce, these temporary separations, planned out carefully between partners for a predetermined length of time and with guidelines regarding finances and child care, provide a cooling-off period with the added benefit of allowing the partners to see what life will be like without each other.
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