My two best friends started dating
“It’s definitely still a little awkward, but everyone is trying to be mature. Things will never be the same as they were, but that’s life, and we’re making this new dynamic work,” she says. However, the situation is complicated because my best friend, another junior, had a long-time crush on her.
“In my heart of hearts, I wanted to be there for both of them, but it was so intense that I also just wanted to bolt and not deal at all,” she admits. Don’t avoid your friends—they need you more than ever. “Say, ‘I’m here for you, and I get that it helps to vent.So you have fallen in love with your best friend, and you know for a fact that your best friend loves you, too.Well with a delicate situation like this, you need as much help as you can get to make the decision and process of transition from friends to couple run smoothly.Then Brittany started requesting that little nuggets of info about her love life be edited down.It basically became, ‘Don’t tell Patrick that I’m fill-in-the-blank.’ The whole situation was exhausting and so stressful,” Abbe says.But just because things won’t be the same doesn’t mean they won’t be good.
Your best bet is to give it time; hold up on the group activities until they have time to heal and decide how to handle the new setup.
But whatever you do, be sure to say something to both friends like, ‘I understand that it may be difficult for you if I still hang out with Mark occasionally.
But I have a good relationship with him too and I want to maintain it—I hope you realize this doesn’t take away my support for you,” advises Andrea Bonior, a clinical psychologist and author of .
The 28-year-old from Brooklyn mainly hung out with her two best friends from high school, Sarah and Brittany, and their boyfriends, Peter and Patrick, respectively—it was a nice little fivesome.
But at the end of the year, Brittany and Patrick broke up—and utter mayhem ensued.“It was awful,” recalls Abbe, who explains that the breakup aftermath happened in two phases.
What used to be a quick and easy “send” now turns into: “Who do I include on the list?